Adoption is tearing my family apart...?

Maybe I, or no one else on Answers is qualified to answer you on this one. But, it sounds to me as though there's a big hole or void in your mother's life she's trying to fill. Even though she seems to already have some Truly wonderful children who love her in spite of what she doesn't realize what she has. And, the sad part is, you have nothing to do with why she's like this. Don't ever think for one minute that you or your brother aren't gifts she's been given. And she should feel so blessed to have you all. But, one thing I can tell you is, you're mom has her own reasons too, for being this way. You say your parents quarrel over this. And, I think, if your dad would perhaps make her feel special and loved more, she wouldn't feel as if she had to fill herself up with people she feels she's saving from this same loneliness and feelings of abandonment. And, she Truly believes in her own mind that you SHOULD just know these things, only because she's wrapped up in her own pain. She's seems selfish to you.....and, personally to me too. But, I don't think she can help herself. I have no idea how old you are, but, you seem really young to me. You, yourself are now reaching out, because this all hurts you too. You wonder why your mother wants more children when she doesn't seem to give enough of herself to the ones she already has. HAVE you tried to express yourself and feelings to your mother? Have you ever came right out and told her how much you love her and how you want more of her in your life? Tell her you need her more right now and that you have to have more of her to yourself, because of what she does mean to you. When she's on the computer looking for another child, try to get her involved with doing an activity with you. Come right out and say, "Here you are, looking for another child when there doesn't seem to be enough of you to go around with what you have here already. And Honey, the LAST thing you, OR your mother needs is a special needs child, believe me. I have that in my house right now and ONE of those is enough to have to devote your entire life to, let alone with 6 others she seems to be emotionally neglecting, as you are. You're a wonderfully well balanced child, even though you don't feel you are. But, you say you're getting out of there in 2-3 years, yet you are so concerned about the others. A trait your mother seems to lack. You could have taken on a "too bad" attitude but, you didn't. You DO care. And you should talk with your father and tell him your family needs to hold meetings where everyone's feelings can be freely discussed. Instead of arguments between your parents, everyone should be able to discuss what her Obsession is doing to you all. And DO just that. Be open and honest with each other. I think she needs to hear it from you guys....and, she needs to be able to express herself. And this way, you may all find out what SHE'S REALLY feeling too. Good luck Baby. And I'm out here if you ever want to talk. YOU matter to me, ok? Very much. Hang in and NEVER give up. Just like all good things come to an end.........so do the bad. Just you remember that, ok Sweetie? God Bless you and those children.